Had to take a few hours off from the World Series of Baseball to exercise my God-given right to vote in these United States. That's a lot of Americana happening all at once. Dizzying. I should have voted on Friday - as that was a travel day for the Giants and I coulda gotten a lot done. So me and Chief dusted off the old absentee ballots and grabbed our pens and proceeded to change the world.
I like voting in my living room, frankly. I'm sure women of the 1920's or whatever would frown on this, but it's comfortable, and there is opportunity for real political important dialogue-ing with fellow party members.. You can also do it while watching TV. I know that people fought and died for this right, and far be it from me to be all reverent and shit while throwing in my big big 2 cents. I have a fantasy where they don't even count most of the votes - especially the perennial "absenteers"who race the ballot in just before the polls close even though they've had it for months...
Overheard in the polling place/our easy chairs last night : "What I if I wrote in adorable Giants pitcher Timmy Lincecum for every office ? What if a lot of people do it and he wins ? That'd be awesome." "I'm voting 'yes', because it's taxing someone other than me." "I'm trying to figure out how this one will inconvenience me personally..." "I'm getting bored - can we hand in blanks and still get credit ?" "I've had it with the double talk - I'm just gonna pick one...shit." "These propositions look identical : let's vote 'yes' on one and 'no' on the other - they won't be expecting that."
Other things that come into play for me during voting season : the names of the candidates (anyone with a really irritating name gets a 'no' from me), their backers (SF politics were so easy during Willie Brown's Reign of Terror - just said a bunch of "no's" to all of his slimy-ass "yes" votes. Voting took, like, 5 seconds back in the day.) One hard and fast rule is casting a vote for "Starchild" for whatever he is running for. This year, its the school board. I will see Starchild in office or I will die trying to elect him.. her .
I DO take this right seriously. Democracy (and the oft'-underrated opposable thumb) is what separates us from the lesser beasts. I believe all of the "if you don't vote, don't bitch" cliches. I like to pretend that every vote does, indeed, count - but that mine counts a little more. My old friend Anthony put it best : "There is a God, and he favors me."
So, look for the delicious and talented Tim Lincecum to hold a few major offices in San Francisco. Also look for my daughter, Missy - a write-in (and shoo-in, if you follow the tweets) for District Supervisor.
It all starts with just one vote. Mine.
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