So It Blew

    Wake up in the morning (feeling like P. Diddy...) to a large and colorful sign taped to the toilet : CALL DAD.  Me old one died some 20 years ago, so I figure to call Chief at work.  Before I do, I notice that someone has...rearranged all of the kitchen appliances : toaster and coffee pot are in odd places, and one of the countertops is (gasp) cleared.  I have been up coughing all night, and my eyes will not/cannot open fully.  I think all my ribs are broken.
   I call Chief, who cannot talk at the moment - but to say " don't touch anything, don't cook anything !"  All I want is coffee and to be given just one reason to go on living.  Fuck me.  Apparently, the coffee pot "blew" this morning, the plugs are sparking all over the kitchen, the world is going to hell in a hand-basket.    I listen to all kinds of information and semi-instructions re: finding an electrician, how we gon' pay for it, etc.  I listen for a long time, and just pause and respond "so it blew ?"   I cannot move past the coffee pot.  Chief likely wants to kill me (again/still)  as I am no help and just thinking about coffee.  Do I have to get dressed to get some ?  Where is the closest brew ?  Do they deliver ?  What about a new coffee pot ?  What about all of my broken ribs ?  So it blew ? (The last time this happened, (the pot, not the blow) - I was seen charging into my local Walgreens, standing right inside the door, and shouting : "Coffee pot - NOW !".  Neanderthal, yes - but effective.)
   We "have" no electrician, the house is totally haywired,  PG&E has even said the house will burn down sooner than later (show-offs - what do they know ?), and we have a... list of electric issues that we just keep absorbing and working around : no kitchen light, no bedroom light, most plugs are 75 years old and don't hold for shit.  We still operate with "fuses" - and there is a fussy and detailed system of which electrical things can be used simultaneously.   Also, no doorbell - but I kind of like this.  Anyone worth having over knows to just yell in the street or pick up the damned phone.  I don't need to hear from anyone else : the "no doorbell policy" really appeals to the people-hating part of me.  Trick or treat this, motherfuckers.  I don't think I'll tell anyone it's been fixed.
   So we call our MOST EXCELLENT plumber for an electrician referral.  "Eddy" is there in 10 minutes.  We threaten him immediately (our plumber told us to : "..tell him to give you a great deal or I'll have his legs - I will come for him."  This was awkward, but we did it.)  And by 'we', I am f referring to myself and the  MOST EXCELLENT husband who has appeared at the door with 2 huge cups of coffee.  (Both for me !)   Like an angel from the clouds. Turns out he did this more for the electrician than for me : "You sick and without coffee ?  I wouldn't wish that on anyone..."  True dat.   Chief also knows I HATE being the girl who has to entertain repairmen - hate it.  Really don't like it.  Never have.  Not expecting to anytime soon.
      So, Electrician Eddy is very nice (and easy on the eye !)  He is quick, efficient - and changes 4 fixtures and fixes the damned doorbell at a ridiculously reduced price.  Word.  He suggests that I can wash the light fixture glass thing "..when you are feeling adventurous."  I take this as a comment on my housekeeping - and let him know that I have had enough excitement for one day, thank you.  He shows us just how close the house is/was to burning down.  I stand chastised.  And kinda girly.  "So, do I still need a new coffee pot ?"  I'm nothing if not focused...
       People I don't even know give me...The Stare.   Uncanny, really.
   So I wrote a check to Eddy, drank my coffee-to-go, and am running around flipping light switches on and off.  I think I know exactly how early man felt when He discovered fire for the first time.  I am happy with our new electrician.  I now cherish him as I do my plumber.  They are Israeli - the latter, a former member of the Israeli army.  Uzi- toting guys.  Handsome.  Nice.  Effective.  Fair.  Each one "one guy, one truck.  Let me know if you need them.  They will be there in 10 minutes.


        Let there be light.  But..really - it just blew ?