"Close Your Eyes"

Is what an old man said to me at Safeway today,      And I'm not quite sure what to make of it.  Has me a bit flummoxed.  I run the risk of over-interpreting it.  Like I'm all "what if God was one of us..."       It's not unusual that a stranger said something random to me : that is actually something I am...famous for.  It literally happens everywhere I go.  I can only surmise it is a vibe or a pheromone or a dog whistle type of a situation.  I am a certified freak magnet : ask anyone.  I have the oddest interactions out in the world : a security guard at The Embarcadero showing me pictures of his kids, an addled lady in Target, upset that someone put the Hickory Farms cheese in the wrong spot, comes to me for help, during a total blackout in a casino (and don't think the generators didn't kick in thisfast) someone approaches me and asks if I have rolling papers, the man who came up behind me once in Sausalito, put his arms around me, and kissed me (wetly and drunkenly, if memory serves...clearly, I used to look awesome from the rear.  I think I was all of 18 at the time.  Shoot me now.)    (ed. note.  The Sausalito Incident remains one of the absolute highlights of my life.  After The Kiss was slathered all over my neck and the neanderthal arms encircled me from behind -  everything went silent.  Except for some whooshing in my head.  Instinct kicked in - no thought.  I spun around, cocked my arm back, and backhanded the shit out of him.  The look on his face was/is priceless : shock, amusement, incredulity, respect...  He put his hand up on the affected area, and said : "You just hit me !"   Cocky bitch, even at an early age : "Damn right I did,and I'll do it again."  Me and my sister, Aunt, went on our merry way(s), and I swear, I was like a cat on a hot tin roof : I was actually looking for him so I could do it again.  Such is/was my madness.     But surely I digest : the fact being that I ...attract things.  And people.       So, the old man in Safeway and his cryptic comment was not weird at all.  The thing that struck me is that, it didn't make sense in a whole different way.  See, the minute I stepped into Safeway I was overwhelmed by a massive and fuzzy torpor.  I yawned, rubbed my eyes like a tired baby, sighed, leaned on things.  Anyone who saw me would have said "open your eyes", not close them.  Plus, I could have interpreted the shit out of a sage elder telling me to open my eyes.         But "close your eyes" ?  Close my eyes and it will be over real quick ?  Close my eyes while you dig an Uzi out of your coat and this becomes the First Grocery Store Massacre of 2011 ?  Close my eyes, this won't hurt a bit ?  Close your eyes, you won't want to see this ?  Close your eyes and count to ten ?  What the hell ?        What does it all mean ?  Is it Opposite Day, and I am supposed to wake up and smell the coffee or else ?   What if God was one of us ?   Why me ?       Maybe he was just a senile old man.