Babies and Gentlemen of the Court

     The actual firstborn is now irretrievably-tethered to society.   She's choking on protocol, coiled in red tape, a slave to her civic duty.  Awash in responsibility.  She was summoned to Jury Duty.  Someone has the temerity to summon my child.

It's like that TV ad where the dad is giving his 20-something daughter last-minute driving instructions, and there is a 4 year old little girl at the wheel.        How very comical Missy will look in a court of law - that is, after someone lifts her up into her chair in the jury box.  Her blindingly-blonde wispy little-girl hair (clipped in place with several colorful plastic barrettes and a headband).  A ponytail of sorts reaches down her back.  The parts of her long hair that hang in front kind of...stick out : I tell her that will happen when she stuffs a bunch of it in her mouth and sucks on it the way she does.  Who eats their hair, Your Honor ?     Feet swinging back and forth in their bright pink plastic jelly sandals.  One sock sticking out the front - it slid down again !  The other sock, sandy and twisted up her tiny leg.  Purple cotton leggings, making her little stems look like popsicle sticks, and a (different shade) purple sweatshirt with white kittens on it.  A flowered dress on over the leggings and under the sweatshirt.  Pink flowers.      Please note (I'm sure the Judge will pick it out right away) the lavender Pocahontas watch with authentic elastic pastel Indian patterned band.  Colorful Lisa Frank backpack (pinks and purples and cute (?) animals.  I hope the D.A.  asks her about the time she joined the Lisa Frank Sticker Club - and was concerned about  how the meetings would work.)  Permission to approach the bench.    Should she opt to eat lunch in the Jury Room, she'll open up her pink Snow White lunchbox and dine on : turkey sandwich - dry.  Apples, sliced and peeled.  Cookies (a 'sweety').  A chip item (a 'salty') Maybe some Barbie Fruit Snax.   Either a juice box, or she can pay for a carton of milk in the cafeteria.  Bedtime's at 8.    I know she'll raise her hand if she needs to.  On her first day of kindergarten, Missy sat in the back of the car in her little booster seat, clearing her tiny angelic little throat.  Over and over.  For blocks and blocks, she did this.  Great, I thought : sick on her very first day of Big School.  "Missy, what are you doing back there ?"  "Mommy, I'm clearing my throat in case I get called on!"    Now, it seems as if the world wants my Missy to be available to help decide someones fate as they  runs afoul of the law.  They want her to see the scales of justice and what they really do.  They want her to pass through a metal detector every day.  Jurisprudence and stuff.    I object.    I hope they break for snack time. This is what the texts looked like this afternoon.  I another time and place, it might have been a phone conversation. Trudy : You got called for Jury Duty ?!  Seems like just yesterday you had solid food (Gerber Rice Cereal) for the first time.... Missy : I did ?  wtf  when. I'm like ten c'mon. Trudy: Dude, lemme open it here... T: Christ.....Monday MAY 9 Missy : Well that doesn't work too well considering that's my last week of class before finals what do i do ? T : Superior Court.  More interesting than Municipal and Civil. T : Looks like there is a postponement number to call.  5 business days ahead of 5/9. Can postpone, but they will nail you after a postponement. M : Actually, exams end that week, and isn't mothers day the 8th?so id be home already T : Actually, yes !  And in this town, it's a "one day, one trial".  You can hope for the one day, but you could just go to court that day.  You can postpone in the courtroom, too - if needs be. T : Unless they allow you to be way specific...like, any time between school move-out and job beginning ?  You could say you live away At College and give a block of time ...? T : Can also postpone with this form, it looks like... M : I should show up drunk.except then I might get a MIP. T : Good plan, overall.  What's a MIP ? M : Minor in possession T : Wow you're so...Dog Chapman and s*it M : I think I'll take it to get it over with. T : You want this summons, or just wait till you home ? T : So, do you want me to mail it to you, or do you mean you'll just show up in court ? M:  Show up. T : Gotcha.  The laugh will be on His or Her Honor when they see that you are 10 years old and/or still teething.  Hah ! Congratulations, Missus Sanders, it's a jurist !