Babies and Gentlemen of the Court

     The actual firstborn is now irretrievably-tethered to society.   She's choking on protocol, coiled in red tape, a slave to her civic duty.  Awash in responsibility.  She was summoned to Jury Duty.  Someone has the temerity to summon my child.

It's like that TV ad where the dad is giving his 20-something daughter last-minute driving instructions, and there is a 4 year old little girl at the wheel.        How very comical Missy will look in a court of law - that is, after someone lifts her up into her chair in the jury box.  Her blindingly-blonde wispy little-girl hair (clipped in place with several colorful plastic barrettes and a headband).  A ponytail of sorts reaches down her back.  The parts of her long hair that hang in front kind of...stick out : I tell her that will happen when she stuffs a bunch of it in her mouth and sucks on it the way she does.  Who eats their hair, Your Honor ?     Feet swinging back and forth in their bright pink plastic jelly sandals.  One sock sticking out the front - it slid down again !  The other sock, sandy and twisted up her tiny leg.  Purple cotton leggings, making her little stems look like popsicle sticks, and a (different shade) purple sweatshirt with white kittens on it.  A flowered dress on over the leggings and under the sweatshirt.  Pink flowers.      Please note (I'm sure the Judge will pick it out right away) the lavender Pocahontas watch with authentic elastic pastel Indian patterned band.  Colorful Lisa Frank backpack (pinks and purples and cute (?) animals.  I hope the D.A.  asks her about the time she joined the Lisa Frank Sticker Club - and was concerned about  how the meetings would work.)  Permission to approach the bench.    Should she opt to eat lunch in the Jury Room, she'll open up her pink Snow White lunchbox and dine on : turkey sandwich - dry.  Apples, sliced and peeled.  Cookies (a 'sweety').  A chip item (a 'salty') Maybe some Barbie Fruit Snax.   Either a juice box, or she can pay for a carton of milk in the cafeteria.  Bedtime's at 8.    I know she'll raise her hand if she needs to.  On her first day of kindergarten, Missy sat in the back of the car in her little booster seat, clearing her tiny angelic little throat.  Over and over.  For blocks and blocks, she did this.  Great, I thought : sick on her very first day of Big School.  "Missy, what are you doing back there ?"  "Mommy, I'm clearing my throat in case I get called on!"    Now, it seems as if the world wants my Missy to be available to help decide someones fate as they  runs afoul of the law.  They want her to see the scales of justice and what they really do.  They want her to pass through a metal detector every day.  Jurisprudence and stuff.    I object.    I hope they break for snack time. This is what the texts looked like this afternoon.  I another time and place, it might have been a phone conversation. Trudy : You got called for Jury Duty ?!  Seems like just yesterday you had solid food (Gerber Rice Cereal) for the first time.... Missy : I did ?  wtf  when. I'm like ten c'mon. Trudy: Dude, lemme open it here... T: Christ.....Monday MAY 9 Missy : Well that doesn't work too well considering that's my last week of class before finals what do i do ? T : Superior Court.  More interesting than Municipal and Civil. T : Looks like there is a postponement number to call.  5 business days ahead of 5/9. Can postpone, but they will nail you after a postponement. M : Actually, exams end that week, and isn't mothers day the 8th?so id be home already T : Actually, yes !  And in this town, it's a "one day, one trial".  You can hope for the one day, but you could just go to court that day.  You can postpone in the courtroom, too - if needs be. T : Unless they allow you to be way specific...like, any time between school move-out and job beginning ?  You could say you live away At College and give a block of time ...? T : Can also postpone with this form, it looks like... M : I should show up drunk.except then I might get a MIP. T : Good plan, overall.  What's a MIP ? M : Minor in possession T : Wow you're so...Dog Chapman and s*it M : I think I'll take it to get it over with. T : You want this summons, or just wait till you home ? T : So, do you want me to mail it to you, or do you mean you'll just show up in court ? M:  Show up. T : Gotcha.  The laugh will be on His or Her Honor when they see that you are 10 years old and/or still teething.  Hah ! Congratulations, Missus Sanders, it's a jurist !

I Can See Clearly Now (3/11)

Johnny Nash, '72 -     The rain is actually gone in some ways -  but that's me in the corner, that's me in the spotlight - losing my religion (REM, 1991)  Which leaves ample room for the fog (Sandburg, 1916) to set in.   Ooohh, life (REM again, '91).    Not only is it a bright, bright sunshiny day (also Johnny Nash, '72), but the sun'll come out tomorrow (Annie,1977) , too !   Asking "have you ever seen the rain ?" (CCR, 1970) seems silly at this point in a long, soggy month.  Last night, after midnight, (JJ Cale - 1966) I heard, once again, the riders on the storm (Doors, 1971).  Our house, in the middle of our street (Madness, 1982) withstood the stormy weather (1933 - Lena Horne). I figured it must be raindrops..so many raindrops (Dee Clarke, 1961).  It seems as if the wise man did build his house upon a rock (1939 - Child Bible Songs), for we didn't have to send out an SOS (Abba, 1975).  Imagine that - Mama mia (also Abba, 1975)  !     We had a few sundrops earlier, making for a true rainbow connection (Kermit The Frog, 1979) as I saw a double rainbow (estd.1976) followed by a third.  As I drove through the park, I remembered the old playground in my mind (Clint Holmes, 1973), and bet if I followed somewhere over (Judy Garland, 1939), I would find it at the end (Doors,1967 and Beatles,1969 ).     I decide to see how the beach has fared, and I first notice that the tide rushes in (Righteous Brothers, 1965).   Kind of like fools (Ricky Nelson, 1963).  I wish I wasn't driving in my car (Madness, 1982), as I want to feel sand between my toes (Peter Frampton, 1975)  I want to be a beach baby there on the sand (First Class, 1974).  Then, I see Surfer Joe (Surfaris, 1963 a-side) off in the distance, and I cringe as I see him wipeout (Surfaris, 1963 b-side).     I can no longer resist the call of the wild (Jack London,1903) so I make a u-turn (Usher, 2001) and pull up alongside the ocean (Led Zeppelin, 1973) where I see what looks like the creature from the black lagoon (Dave Edmunds, 1979) peeling off his skin (Rascal Flatts, 2004) and standing naked (David Sedaris, 1997), like a virgin (Madonna, 1984) - his diamonds sparkling in the sand (Tower of Power, 1976).        For a hot second, I think he is hitchin' a ride (Vanity Fare, 1969 and Green Day, 1997).  It's just my imagination once again (Temptations, 1971) - as he looks to be headin' out on the highway, looking for adventure (Steppenwolf, 1968).  As I eat his dust (New World Pictures, 1976), I ease on down the road (The Wiz, 1978), and begin walking on the sand (Shangri-Las, 1964) - I look up and duck, as here comes a flock of seagulls (1982), and I am afraid they will shit on me (Rehab, mid-1980's). Bird guano on my head will just about ruin my day trip (Beatles, 1965) - so I scamper over to where I see the tide is high, ( The Paragons, 1967, Blondie 1980, and Atomic Kitten, 2002) and knock on wood (Eddie Floyd, 1966).  I am lucky (Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat, 2009).       Now that I'm on the beach (Nevil Shute, 1957), I feel I can start to relax (Frankie Goes To Hollywood, 1984 and Mika, 2006).  Take a load off (The Band, 1968).  Take it easy (Eagles, 1972 and Mika again, 2006).  I took the ribbon from my hair (Kris Kristofferson, 1970), dropped my pants by the sand (Cat Stevens, 1970), and made footprints (Stevenson, 1936) all the way down to the water's edge (Seven Mary Three, 1997)   Child of nature, friend of man (Sugarloaf, 1970).  That's me.  The seaside always fills up my senses (John Denver,1974).  My life...is the sea. (Looking Glass, 1973)  I have to live by the sea, the beautiful sea. ("For Me and My Gal", 1914) )   Even if I don't see it for a while, I need to know (Tom Petty, 1978, and Marc Anthony, 1999) that it is there.  But I don't really want a hot beach.  No Malibu beach nightmare (Rocks Hanoi, 1983) for me.  I like it best when it is a little cold, maybe windy (The Association, 1967).  Sunshine (Traditional, 1939, Katrina and the Waves, 1983) optional.  Walking on the dust in the wind (Kansas, 1977) in a hazy shade of winter (Simon and Garfunkel, 1966, The Bangles, 1990).  That's life.  (Sinatra, 1966)   If I keep walking, will I end up, like in the South Pacific (1958) ?  The lost horizon (James Hilton, 1933) looks far and flat, but for all we know, (Carpenters, 1970)  we won't fall off.  Nor will we back down. (Tom Petty, 1989)  We'll just go around in circles (Billy Preston, 1972).  Aint that peculiar ? (Marvin Gaye, 1965)    We will save that for another time (Chambers Brothers, 1967)  If I can turn back time (Cher, 1989), I can retrace my steps and get back (Beatles, 1969) to where I once belonged.  I got here in my car (Gary Numan, 1979), and now it's beginning to look a lot like (traditonal Christmas, 1951) I'm on my way home (Beatles, 1970) Home (Simon and Garfunkel) again, naturally (Gilbert O'Sullivan, 1972).  The minute I walked in the room I could tell (Sweet Charity, 1969)  that my feet were on the floor and not the shore. (Dinah, 1916-1994 ).  Sand stipples the carpet, and I am glad not to be among the landlocked (Bright Eyes, 2005).  Ain't that some shit ? (Ceelo, 2010)     To Ocean Beach, I do declare (Smokie, 1975) : I want to thank you for giving me the best days of my life. (Dido, 1998) tsanders, 3/11 ed. note : I wrote this over a period of a few days, inspired by the first sunny day in a month.  Once I had Johnny Nash in my head, I thought : what it it was all lyrics ?  MInd you, I Googled AFTER I wrote...which is to say this all popped up in my head and then I checked for dates).  Not to take away from the United Negro College Fund - but a mind IS a terrible thing to waste.  Word.